Why responding matters

When you feel something difficult and respond with harshness, your nervous system tightens.
When you feel something difficult and respond with kindness, your nervous system starts to trust you.

A gentle response says: “I see you, and I’m not turning away.”
That is deeply healing.

Today’s healing phrases

You can choose one or two of these phrases:

• “It’s okay to feel this.”
• “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
• “This is hard, and I’m here with you.”

Feel free to adjust the wording so it sounds natural to you.

Day 3 practice (7–10 minutes)

1. Start as you did yesterday.
   Notice what you feel and name it:
   “There is anxiety here.”
2. Offer a gentle response.
   Say, for example:
   “It’s okay to feel this. I’m here with you.”
3. Repeat slowly.
   Let your phrase match your breathing. With each exhale, repeat the words softly.
4. Listen inside.
   Notice any part of you that reacts: doubt, relief, resistance, or nothing at all.
   Your job is simply to stay kind.
5. End with gratitude.
   Thank yourself for practicing, even if it felt awkward or difficult.

Gentle reflection

• What is it like to respond gently instead of harshly?
• Did any inner critic or doubtful voice show up?
• How would I respond to a friend who felt this way?

Related support

• Visit Self-Talk Practices for shame and self-criticism.
• Read Meeting inner criticism with kindness.
• Listen to “I’m here with you” audio if available.

When you’re ready, move gently to Day 4: Letting the body be involved.

Love is Everything — G. Ross Clark