Allowing

A Self-Talk Healing Practice

A gentle practice for meeting old pain with presence, love, and safety.

5-Minute Audio Practice — “Allowing Marilyn”

Introduction:
This short practice is designed to help you stay grounded and safe while gently allowing old emotional pain or memories to surface and release.
It can be used with the name “Marilyn” or any other person or situation that carries a charge.

Guided Script

Welcome.
Let yourself settle into a comfortable position. Feel your feet on the ground… your toes… your legs… the quiet support beneath you.

Take a gentle breath in… and let the exhale soften you.

Let the natural rhythm of your breath begin to flow — easy, unforced, simple.

Now, bring your attention to your toes. Imagine the breath rising from the toes up through the legs, the belly, the chest, the shoulders, and over the head. Then imagine the breath flowing down again, returning to the toes.

Let this wave of breath settle your whole body.

When you feel even a little bit steady, introduce the phrase:

“Allowing Marilyn.”

Say it softly inside. No pushing. No analyzing. Simply letting the name gently appear in your awareness.

Now, scan from the toes to the top of the head. Notice any contraction, tightness, holding, or emotional stirring. Let everything be allowed.

If tension appears, whisper inwardly:

“You are allowed to be here.”

Keep breathing from the toes through the body. Let sensations move, soften, or shift in their own time.

You don’t need to fix anything. You don’t need to change anything. Just allow.

If emotions arise, offer a warm presence:

“I’m here with you.”

Stay with the body until the breath naturally begins to ease, until a sense of spaciousness or relief begins to open.

Now release the phrase, and let the body rest quietly.

Feel the softness around the heart. Feel the ground supporting you.

End with a gentle acknowledgment:

“Thank you, body. Thank you, presence. I am safe.”

When you are ready, open your eyes. Carry this calm, open presence with you into your day.

7-Day Allowing Self-Talk Healing Practice

This 7-day sequence turns the allowing practice into a gentle daily journey. Move at your own pace. Repeat days whenever you like.

Day 1 — Grounding & Safety First

Today, simply practice grounding.

Feel your toes, feet, and legs.
Breathe gently from the toes up through the body.
Scan slowly from toes to head and back down.

End with the phrase:
“I am here. I am safe.”

Day 2 — The Phrase of Allowing

Today, introduce the phrase.

Ground first in the toes and breath.
When you feel a little bit steady, softly say inside:
“Allowing (Name).” (For example, “Allowing Marilyn.”)
Notice how the body responds, without judgment.

Let whatever arises be welcomed with warmth and curiosity.

Day 3 — Meeting Tension with Kindness

Today, focus on how you respond when tension or contraction appears.

Ground in toes and breath.
Introduce the phrase: “Allowing (Name).”
As tension appears, say inwardly:
“You are allowed. I’m here with you.”

Stay until the breath becomes soft again, even if it is only a small softening.

Day 4 — Allowing Emotions to Surface

Today, allow emotions to arise if they want to.

Ground in toes, feet, and breath.
Introduce the phrase: “Allowing (Name).”
If sadness, fear, anger, or discomfort arises, let it be there without stories or blame.

Rest in presence and gently witness what moves through you.

Day 5 — Returning to Ease

Today, pay close attention to the moment of release.

Practice as before: grounding, phrase, noticing sensations.
Notice when the breath opens, shoulders soften, or the chest feels more spacious.

Let yourself savor this ease. Quietly affirm:
“My body knows how to return to peace.”

Day 6 — Allowing Younger Parts

Today, allow a younger version of you to be present.

Ground in toes and breath.
Introduce the phrase: “Allowing Marilyn.” or another name.
Then gently bring to mind the younger you who felt hurt or afraid.

Say inwardly:

“Little one… you’re allowed to be here. I’m with you.”

Rest with this younger part in warm, steady presence.

Day 7 — Resting in Wholeness

Today, practice simply resting in allowing presence, without introducing any stressor.

Ground in toes and breath.
Let the body relax into spacious awareness.
If any memory or feeling arises, allow it gently, without pushing.

End with this phrase:
“I allow my whole life to be met with love.”

Including This Practice in IFS Daily Work

This allowing practice fits beautifully within Internal Family Systems (IFS) work. In IFS, we meet our inner parts from a calm, compassionate Self. Here, the name you bring up (for example, “Marilyn”) often touches a part of you that has been holding pain, fear, or protection since childhood.

By staying grounded in your toes and breath, you remain in Self-energy: calm, curious, and kind. The part can then show you its tension and emotion without overwhelming you.

1. Witnessing a Hurt Part

When you say, “Allowing Marilyn,” and feel contraction in the body, you can recognize this as a part surfacing. Instead of becoming that part, you stay with it.

You might say inwardly:

“I see you. You’re allowed to be here. I’m here with you.”

This is pure IFS witnessing: a loving Self being present with a hurt part.

2. Unblending When Activation Appears

When strong sensations or emotions arise, you can unblend by saying:

“Something in me feels tight. And I am right here with it.”

This language acknowledges that the feeling is a part of you, not all of you. The practice of grounding and allowing helps that part relax, knowing it is no longer alone.

3. Offering Loving Presence to Younger You

Often, the pain connected with a name like “Marilyn” belongs to a younger version of you. During the practice, you may gently turn toward that younger self and say:

“Little Ross… I’m here. You don’t have to hold this alone.”

This is IFS befriending and reparenting: Self offers safety, tenderness, and company. Over time, the younger part begins to trust that it no longer has to carry all the pain.

In this way, the Allowing Self-Talk Healing Practice becomes a daily IFS ritual of meeting your parts with love, presence, and deep respect.

It all belongs to LOVE